Lawn violation? Me? Really?

So I have a lawn violation. I haven't worried too much about my HOA in a while, and I don't even live there any more (I have tenants in my old house, who are not keeping my front lawn immaculate).

I'll post some gory details later, but here's the short version of how it all went down:

HOA, to me: Yo, your lawn is ugly. Clean up your act.

Me, to HOA: If you say so.

Me, to tenants: Yo, my lawn is ugly. Mow it.

(one month passes)

HOA, to me: Yo, your lawn is still ugly. Pay us $25.

Me, to tenants: Yo, the HOA is still giving me static about the lawn. Please mow it. Also, I'll see if I can't get them to lay off.

Me, to HOA: Hey, do you have pictures? By the way, what's the standard for ugly? Who else's lawn is ugly?

(two weeks pass)

Me, to HOA: Hey, where are we at with this?

HOA to me: Yes, your lawn is still ugly. You still need to pay. No, we're not going to tell you our standard of ugly, or anything else.

Me to HOA: Uh, okay. Listen, I'm going to pay you, and then I'm going to file a claim in court because I don't think you can just shake people down without any evidence. Can you please provide some kind of evidence?

HOA to me, but by accident: TELL that HOAEater guy nothing until we talk to the attorney.

Me to HOA: Hey, I think you just wrote to me by accident. It's silly to log billable hours to an attorney over a $25 fine when you can just give me the evidence. But whatever, I'm still going to do the court thing, I don't care.

HOA to me: HOW DARE YOU!!! Look at how horrible your lawn is (pictures now enclosed showing my average looking lawn)! And guess what now we're going to put you in violation of all this other stuff like all the garbage on your driveway (not shown in photos) and your trash can being left out (shown in photos behind the A/C unit).

---end of act one---

That's the short story, at any rate. Off to small claims court! Too bad, I had such high hopes for my socialist Utopian HOA.